Two terrible lounge singers get booked to play a gig in a Moroccan hotel but somehow become pawns in an international power play between the CIA, the Emir of Ishtar, and the rebels trying to overthrow his regime. Two terrible lounge singers get booked to play a gig in a Moroccan hotel but somehow become pawns in an international power play between the CIA, the Emir of Ishtar, and the rebels trying to overthrow his regime. The movie "Ishtar" (1987), which was probably intended to be a 1980's equivalent of Bing Crosby-Bob Hope travel movies, is so dismal that it is impossible to underrate it. I voted it to be one out of ten on the IMDb scale. Can I give it a negative score? <br/><br/>Only about two minutes out of this so-called comedy is funny. Rest of the movie is absolutely boring. When a movie is so bad, it can become a classic. Remember Ed Wood's "Force Nine from Outer Space." The special effects and alien costumes were so cheap. The acting (if you can call it acting) of Tor Johnson and Vampira were horrendous. The story line makes Saturday morning cartoons look like Dostoyevsky novels. However, when all these horrendous, shamelessly cheap and tacky elements are combined into one movie, the end product is something fascinatingly bad and unique; it is a timeless classic. However, `Ishtar' can never be a classic like `Force Nine.' There is nothing unique about it. It is just plain boring. (Those poor movie critics. They had to sit through this torturously boring movie.) <br/><br/>The shortcoming of this movie is in its horrendous screenplay. The talents of stars like Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty and Isabelle Adjani could not rescue this incredibly bad screenplay. Didn't somebody tell Elaine May, the director-screenwriter, that the screenplay absolutely stunk. Even a chimpanzee can write a better screenplay than this. You don't need a talent to spot a stinker like this. This is a rotting, stinking fish. You can smell it from miles away! This movie was definitely Warren Beatty's oyster.<br/><br/>We saw it opening night. We sat there waiting for interesting characters to emerge and for a fascinating plot to blossom. By the time the end credits began rolling we were still waiting.<br/><br/>The characters were two dimensional – perhaps that is being generous. It was like the lull before a chase scene for 107 minutes. You were certain it was going to get moving any minute now. The only surprise was that big name stars and a large budget could produce such a vapid film.<br/><br/>I didn't walk out because it never offended me. It never interested me either.<br/><br/>If you are looking for political commentary watch "Wag the Dog" instead. The worst of it is painless; the best is funny, sly, cheerful and, here and there, even genuinely inspired. [15 May 1987, p.C3]
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